Is this an online journal? I don't even know. But if there was ever a dear diary type of post, this would be it.
FRIDAY
The night before we had been filming our short film for around 4-5 hours straight after a full day of study, writing and being taught to twerk on walls by a man, who will be known from this post onwards as 'Loose Bruce.' Safe to say we were mentally and physically exhausted, which is probably why I showed up to class a good 3 hours late today. But that's okay. The best way to describe my campus I'd say would be consistently inconsistent. You can never trust what any of the staff say they will do, unless they are physically doing it right in front of you. As a person who is dealing with her intolerance of human error and general incompetence this is always a great fucking time for me. This is also why I was utterly shocked when I realized our shuttle into the city was going ahead as planned (hell bitch yes.)
If I'm being honest here, the only reason I wanted to embark on this trip would be to buy candy, coffee, pringles and escape for a short while. Residing on campus in such a secluded rural town for two weeks at a time, I find after only a few days I'm craving lights and noise. Although it does bring a sense of balance to an otherwise erratic and somewhat hectic city living.
After stocking up on some much needed, erm 'supplies' me and my band of misfits headed to the the beach to climb rocks and pray there were no crocodiles lurking beneath our feet. Risky business indeed. I also really wish I could have vlogged or taken pictures of those moments but I just installed snap chat and although it's enhanced a fair few friendships, it drained my battery like a motherfuck. So Sorry. Please love me. I won't know how to accept this love but damn it I'll try.
As I had been involved in back to back activities all week, I had decided to relax, read, recharge and participate in a spot of yoga in my dorm room. Shortly after the bus had pulled into campus I found myself tagging along with a group consisting of Loose Bruce, Black Jesus, Fred and another gent whom I will probably always be forgetting his name. Pandemonium was on the horizon.
Our campus is shared with an army training facility and although we maybe mocked them and found their air of arrogance and false sense of importance a constant stream of entertainment; Everyone in our social circle had individually attempted to make contact with the army folk. To build a bridge of communication and maybe even friendship, because why not? But alas inflated egos and the sheep mentality of conformists had rendered all attempts futile. An example of how one of these such interactions went:
*Night time on campus, friends sit on the side of the road as military students walk passed*
Friend: -to army student- Hi!
Army student: Good night...
And all other interactions were similarly shut the fuck down or ignored completely. Until tonight.
It was the army students fly out tomorrow. They had their graduation that day, The clock had just struck midnight and things were getting pretty rowdy. I arrived at the pub and found my people interacting with the army folk... Interesting. Unfortunately by the time I'd arrived and mingled a sufficient amount, the pub had stopped doing serving takeaway liquor and were just about to call last drinks. Fortunately for me I am pretty much the party and can sober rage like a bad bitch. Everyone was pretty heavily intoxicated and only really just started to become acquainted, competing with the karaoke, fights that were beginning to break out and drunken banter around us.
Playing guessing games about each other in the midst of this chaos was when I heard what I am now referring to the second smoothest line I have ever heard in my life. It went a little something like this:
'I'm guessing your name is Jess, like gorjess, is your name gorJESS?'
It was corny. But that's what made is so brilliant. The sheer unpredictability caused me to lose my shit. This same gent guessed my fanatic fall out boy tendencies. From here on out, he will be referred to as 'Snapback.' Although his real name is Jeremy .
The rest of the night was rather hazy.
We were assigning each other batman characters. Everyone had agreed I was Harley Quinn. Some would be overjoyed at this assignment. For me this just did not fly. I waited patiently for a friend the stray from the group until I could approached her and ask tentatively if I could be the joker. Because I AM The Joker. She found it endearing and granted me the title of joker. It wouldn't have mattered too much. I would still be the joker, even if it were in my own mind. Because we, as beings on this planet are essentially alone in our own minds. Do we bleed the same blood? Do we see the same blue? Do we feel the same happiness? You just never know. Because you are alone and that is pretty much the only guaranteed thing you have to hang on to in this life. You're welcome.
Someone had caught wind of a nearby house party. We staggered there. Though I had more of a leaping gazelle approach if I'm going to be honest with myself and the internet. Upon arriving at the party I had some rather obscure conversations thrust at me. The most interesting was with Snapback and that consisted of space, aliens, metaphysics and comics we would draw as kids. He said he could make any situation awkward and went over to discuss something with the twins. It ended in a game of limbo which was the total opposite of awkward if you ask me. One of the military boys sat on my lap. Instead of turning it into a joke or asking him to get off like a normal human being I just screamed. Squealed is actually a better way to put it. Squealed until he got off and tried to make casual conversation with me but it was time to star gaze.
I left the group to star gaze on the lawn... The owner of the property approached me a week later and asked if I was the girl passed out on his lawn and refused to believe I was actually stargazing. A short while later after a small group of people had gravitated towards me and were having a conversation standing in a semi circle above me. I faded in and out of the conversation. Too busy stargazing and pondering every mystery in the entire universe. Suddenly it hit me. I realized that I was lying in quite a large patch of red dirt that was being pressed into the oversized white shirt I'd fashioned into a skimpy dress. I'd ask the person manning the speakers to play truffle butter. I don't think they were going to play it. It was time to leave. A friend valiantly covered me on our way out of the party.
On our journey back to campus we encountered water gushing out of the ground, result of a faulty sprinkler. I hear one of the friends daring me to run under the sprinkler. Snapback appeared. Perfect timing for me to hand him my bag and rinse myself of the mud/red dirt that had accumulated on my back. I looked like a drowned rat. Snapback put his snapback on me and I looked like a drowned rat in a snapback. We passed security and I was informed that was recycled sewage water. I'm pretty sure we drink recycled sewage water anyway so... That's really not the worst thing that can happen to me. Loose Bruce, K-rad, Snapback and I made it back to campus in the early hours of the morning. K-rad, Snapback, random military student and I retreated to the basketball courts to continue our fascinating conversations and dry off until about 5.30am.
I went to my room to snapchat my friend who resides in the U.S. I lost track off time and didn't sleep until a rather ungodly hour.
The remainder of the weekend was a haze of parties, vomiting, vodka soaked panties and waterfalls. You can see a quick montage of that on my vlog channel some time in the future.
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| A wild drowned rat appeared. |
Here's a couple of my links if you're interested in some of my other jazz. I wish jizz was also called jazz tbh.
Youtube!
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Stay strong bby's, shine bright, kiss hot strangers (or not, whatever floats your goat.)
Also, here's a quote that really razzed me this morning when I was about to be super petty:
- Saatana Lee Rose xoxoxoo Stay good, golden.
