Whaat? No way! I know right? Crazy things have been happening lately on the floor of Tokyo or down in London to go, go with the record selection and the mirror reflection I'm dancing with myself. I have been listening to a lot of generation X lately, so thank-you for letting me put those lyrics in for no reason (it was only kind of funny.)
One such thing is my return to the modelling world! It has been such a long, long time (well, a couple of years) and I'm finally ready to get back in front of the lense and #werkit. The hash tags began as a joke and now I can't stop, refer to previous blog post and send help immediately.
But why the hiatus? You should have been crowned Australia's Next Top Model by now! Well, let me tell you a little something, something. Unfortunately, this is actually a big something, something and that is that there are a lot of fucking creeps out there! I know you are all shocked. But when you have a creepy manager who will send you a constant stream of perverted text messages and send you out to jobs with the sleaziest photographers who are consistently ignoring your personal boundaries and trying to push you to do more than what you're comfortable with, it's a little bit off putting. But at some point in time you've just got to say fuck these assholes (not literally...unless that's your thing, I don't judge.) and choose to pursue your dreams, regardless.
Unfortunately, this was during a pretty dark period of my life when I had just left a really high stress job and was left with nothing but extremely low self esteem and a desperation to prove I wasn't absolutely worthless. Without going into too much detail, this came at a bit of a cost to my mental and physical health.
But I only came out stronger. Sure, they are probably some
Anyone that knows me, knows that I have never been a person to take anyone's shit which is why this circumstance came as such a surprise to the couple of people that knew what I had been going through and tolerated. It was also pretty unsettling to myself that I had taken so much shit and let so many people tell me what to do. Dare I say that was the lowest point in my life? Maybe...Maybe.
But hey! You live and you learn and I realized that just because I'd been a bit of ball breaker with a take no shit attitude in the past, who had a temporary lapse in judgement and self esteem, doesn't mean I can't pick up the pieces and return to my natural state of ball breaker with a take no shit attitude. Let's call it jumping right back on the horse, shall we? I'm really happy to say that it doesn't compromise my worth as a person either.
So, I've been on a mission to rebuild my portfolio. This time with magical rainbow hair! and freelance for a while before I find an agency that I feel will represent me, my modelling and other secret talents (*cough* burlesque *cough*) properly. I have also been posting regularly to my YouTube channel and auditioning for a lot of acting jobs. Feels good man, feels good to get back out there. Here's a link to my channel, go show me sum luv if you're feeling me <3 (u no u wnt 2) and I'll leave a couple of cute lil snippy snaps of my rainbow glory below because I'm feeling so super generous.
Thanks for reading all about my biz. Luv u long time. Go and start something you never thought you could or go back to something you stopped because someone told you that you couldn't or made you feel like shit about it. Do it for you because nothing else really matters in the end except for your own health and happy.
-TheDoll, Saatana, whatever else xxx
